Friday

This was done a couple of days ago.

It's Thursday. Yesterday reinforcements arrived: Christy and Alexie, Juan and Susana. Wow, what a relief it is to have family around. Useful family, that is. The kind that will wash, iron, and cook for me. Actually by my own definition that would make my entire family useless so I better come up with a new definition. Family, blood-related or not, are those folks that will be there when you need them, no questions asked. They will catch your fall, help you clean up and get back on your feet. And won't require a co-pay nor will you need to meet a deductible. You will, however, have to give them a hug or something.

I admire my family. I am very, very lucky to know that there are such talented, creative people in it. And all have made it past the sixth grade except me. That's a good thing because I often need adult supervision.

 I am more and more optimistic about the situation. I am convinced Mom will pull out of this. I don't think the tumor is the end for her though it does mean that life won't ever be quite the same for her or us. We don't know what that means and we won't know for quite a long time. All we know is that surgery is on Monday, tentatively. We know that she'll  be in the ICU for a couple of days and then a few more days as guest of the Methodist Hilton before she can go home. At some point towards the end of next week we should have the final pathology report and only then will we know what we're dealing with. It will be much longer than that before we know what Mom's true condition is in the aftermath of all this. The dust will take a long time to settle, kind of like in my office.

I warn you that I'll need to spend some time with Mom alone. If I ask you to step out or not come, please don't take it personally. I need to get ready to take over her administrative affairs and she and I need to spend time doing this with no interruptions. Mom is getting tired as the days go by and her strength is sapped after receiving visitors all day. Her ability to speak and to reason are also diminishing so time is of the essence.

Love you all.

This just in: Dr. Zhang wants to do a "special scan" on Friday. He wants to look as carefully as he can at the tumor before going in. The tumor is right on the edge of the part of the brain that handles motor skills and movement on the right side of the body. Therefore, he wants to do everything he can to avoid harming Mom in any way. Surgery is planned now for Monday.

Yesterday we talked with the Neuro Oncologist, Dr. New, a rather ironic name. As it turns out, Dr. New is rather old. A soft-spoken woman that looked as if she arrived with the Mayflower, she's very fragile looking. Her skin is so thin I could see her hand bones. We heard that on one occasion a patient she was talking with sneezed and blew her across the hall into a storage closet.

Dr. New asked a lot of questions, let Mom go into all kinds of details about her condition and then said that most likely this is a type of tumor called Glioma. Here's what the Mayo Clinic writes about it:

Glioma is the medical term for a tumor that begins in the brain or spinal cord. Gliomas are the most common form of primary brain tumor. Treatment options depend on the specific type, size and location of the glioma. Outcomes can vary widely, even among people with similar gliomas.

Dr. New stayed a while and ended her visit by saying they had treatments for all types of brain tumor. In Mom's case, there will likely be six weeks of daily radiation therapy which is given on an out-patient basis. This will be followed by oral chemo. I think she said three months of that.

We also spoke to other people including a friend who is a radioology oncologist there at Methodist. He said this is survivable. I feel much better, partly because the news are positive given the circumstances and partly because I'm also learning to deal with my feelings about all this.

Love you all.

Mom had a body scan Saturday morning. The preliminary results indicate that there are no cancer cells elsewhere. However, she's having a Petscan probably today which is a test designed specifically to search fo cancerous cells. If none are found she will most likely have surgery soon, perhaps towards the end of this week. It'll definitely be after Wednesday because they need to get the Plavix out of her body.

Mom is doing well and is in good spirits. She had a lot of visitors this weekend. Chris and Lauren, David and his girlfriend, Ron. And of course Vicki and Paul. Vicki has been there every day, all day. Susana, Christy and Alexie are expected to arrive Wednesday.

We had our traditional Crepe Breakfast Sunday but this time at the hospital. We generally invite Mom and we all eat in our pijamas at home. So Coqui and I showed up at the hospital in ours. It was an interesting experience walking through the hospital in our jammies and robes, hauling a suitcase and a large bag full of food condiments and utensils. We fit right in with the downtown hobo crowd so no one paid much attention.

I strongly suggest that you come to see Grammy if you can before her surgery. Right now she's lucid, conscious and in good spirits. Life after surgery, however, is a complete unknown. The tumor is right on the edge of where motor skills are controlled so there is a possibility that that part may be affected. We don't know if she'll be able to speak afterwards or just how conscious she'll be.

Remember that Mom's house is available as is ours so housing and transportation are not a problem if you're coming from out of town.

All is quiet in the Western Front. Mom had a full scan yesterday but we haven't heard the results yet. If cancer is found elsewhere then they will be able to do a biopsy without having to do brain surgery just yet. That's the good part. The bad part is that it would confirm metastasis.

Ron Jones came to visit, as did Nick and Roya. And as we were leaving Paul's parents arrived too. Vicki had been there most of the day as she has since Mom was admitted. There was so much hugging and kissing and shaking hands going around that Mom sort of got lost in the melee. We almost forgot why we were there. Oh, mom, yes that's right. There you are. How are you feeling dear?

Mom's actually feeling better. I think here spirits are up but she misses her home very much. We have to do something about that.

I'm trying very hard to be optimistic but last night when I went to her house to feed her entourage I was hit with another wave of sadness. Mom just had her kitchen remodeled with granite tops. It looks fabulous thanks to Coqui's design. She got to use it all of about a week.

Mom's getting to know her nurses well and she raves about the care she's getting. They have all been very kind with her. Lack of care or attention is definitely not a problem here.

If you think about it, send her a video of you or photos. She does have her iPad and she's actually using it. I think it would help her mood to see your faces not just hear your voices. And if you can, come. Methodist Hospital on Fannin Street in the Medical Center. Room 429, the Angry Bear Den. She'll have to tell you why we're calling it that.

Week One - Mom is in the Hospital

It’s 5:30 a.m.and I couldn’t sleep anymore. I’m very sad.

Today is Saturday, July 20th, 2013. On Thursday afternoon just as I was entering the gym I got a call from my mother asking me to take her to the hospital. From the tone in her voice I knew it was bad. 

She reported that a couple of weeks ago she noticed that her handwriting wasn’t the same. Three days ago she noticed that she was having trouble being able to speak. She would think of a word an a different word would come out. The doctor said that happens to him all the time, and to me too by the way, but not to her.

Thursday she couldn’t close her right eye-lid and her speech was slightly slurred. My brother in law, Paul, an internist who is also her primary physician and an excellent diagnostician, told her to get to the hospital right away. Fortunately, I was in the same shopping center and wound up driving to her house right behind her. I tried to get her to stop and let me take her home. At a red light I jumped from my car dressed in my gym clothes, bright yellow shirt, blue shorts and red shoes. I know I looked like the Venezuelan flag as I ran to her car but she waved me off.

Paul had told us to go Methodist downtown, an excellent facility. Though the wait was a bit long I’m glad we listened to Paul. Soon it would be evident that we had made the right choice.

We got to the ER and while in the waiting room she had a seizure, something she’s never had before. I had just stood up to get a snack from a vending machine 10 feet away. I turned back and saw Mom staggering to me with a panic-stricken face, unable to speak and tears rolling down her eyes. I grabbed her and yelled for the nurses.

After a few hours a number of tests were done. She was seen by both the ER doctor and a resident who worked for a neurosurgeon. The ER doctor had called him to come down because a catscan was done that revealed a suspicious mass in her right lobe. 

She was admitted and early Friday an MRI was done. Finally, late afternoon the attending physician came and so did Paul. For Paul to show up like that in the middle of his work day which is very hectic told me that this was serious. The attending turned out to be Dr. Y. Jonathan Zhang. Paul recognized him as a world-renown micro neurosurgeon but Dr. Zhang's business card is very modest. All it says is that he's an MD and works in the department of neurosurgery. There's not long list of initials after his name nor anything else that would reveal the stature of this man in the medical field.

Dr. Zhang is what central casting would come up with as either the premier physician or a lunatic tyrant out to conquer the world. Fortunately he chose the former. There is no middle ground with him. When his residents had checked Mom the day earlier, we go the impression from the way they talked about him that Dr. Zhang was some sort of celebrity which was later confirmed by Paul. But when he showed up he came alone, no retinue, no bells and incense heralding his arrival. A slim man of about five feet nine, his features spoke of an unusual man with deep, penetrating eyes that seemed to want to be part oriental, part occidental and which could open your soul as efficiently as he could open your body with his superbly-trained hands; large, round skull particularly in the back which speaks of intelligence, receding hairline with short hair and small but sharply bent ears pointing forward like radar dishes. Those are the ears of someone not interested in hearing everything, just specifically what he's looking for. The same features could be those of of a mad professor or a ruthless dictator. This is not a man that settles for a middling life. I don't know anything at all about him beyond what Paul told us but it would not surprise me to hear that he's a master black belt or an avid athlete or champion chess player in his spare time.

After listening to Mom’s detailed story of her medical issues and the symptoms that took her to the hospital, Dr. Zhang read the verdict from the MRI in a soft, clear and firm tone and with words that left little room for doubt: 95% certain it’s a tumor though no way to know what kind. It is a tumor inside the brain, in a delicate part of the right lobe. It can be a tumor that grew there or came from elsewhere. They will do a full scan to see if there is cancer anywhere else. If there is, then they’ll know for certain that the tumor is malignant. If not, then it is highly likely it grew there and based on his experience Dr. Zhang feels that the odds are that it’s malignant. Because it’s in the brain, doing a biopsy and doing brain surgery is the same thing so surgery is required.

Before they can do surgery they have to get rid of Plavix, a blood-thinner. Mom refused to get on Cumedin. For this to happen her body has to be flushed so to speak and that will take a few days so she’s not leaving the hospital anytime soon. After surgery they’ll know what they are dealing with and what sort of treatment will be needed. Dr. Zhang will ask a neuro oncologist to come see Mom this weekend if she hasn’t done so already.

Because the tumor is in a very delicate part of the brain Dr. Zhang said that he can’t be too aggressive during surgery. Paul thinks that there’s a strong likelihood Mom won’t be able to speak after surgery and maybe not be able to write. Fortunately Mom was born a leftie and is ambidextrous.

So life as we know it has just changed. Ironically, I’ve been taking care of Mom’s pets and her house for a month because she was out in California with my brother. She must have had some sort of inkling that she needed to go there for awhile. I remember when she decided to go. It was rather spontaneous and it seemed a bit extreme that she wanted to go for a month. Now I know why. I think she intuitively felt she had to go. She came back feeling very nostalgic and sad about San Diego. It brought back a lot of memories for her. That’s where she got divorced and where she met the two men she later married, Dick and Howard. In a way she may have gone there to say good-bye.

Now I’ll be taking care of her house and pets again except perhaps this time permanently. Even if the tumor is removed I really don’t think life will ever be the same again for any of us. And I’m feeling very, very sad. I miss her already.